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amanda

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(9 dreamers | got lost in thought)

[05 Aug 2004|03:54pm]
Unintentionally friends only.

Comment + I'll add you.

exoh

(2 dreamers | got lost in thought)

[05 Aug 2004|12:00am]
[ mood | nauseated ]

It's midnight. On a weeknight. And I'm watching Cartoon Network. And there isn't any Aqua Teen Hunger Force. This is insanity.

My medicine is making me queasy. And I can't sleep. And, and... I don't know.

I like nice people.

(10 dreamers | got lost in thought)

[03 Aug 2004|09:26pm]
[ mood | sore ]

Here's my scheduleCollapse ).

(3 dreamers | got lost in thought)

[02 Aug 2004|11:28am]
I hereby officially give up.

(11 dreamers | got lost in thought)

I'm not dying today. [01 Aug 2004|10:50pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

Doctor says: I'm a-ok, just need to uh, go home. And that's it. That doesn't help... well, at least I know that I'm not having a heart attack. Or that a rib has impailed a lung. Whatev. But what a shame, I can't work tomorrow. Sigh...

Ryan is a good boyfriend. Yay for him.

This summer needs to be gone. It was stupid. And I want it to go away.

(got lost in thought)

[01 Aug 2004|06:07pm]
[ mood | sore and grumpy ]

With every breath I take, I have a stabbing pain in my chest. Ouchies.

I went to Westshore yesterday. The most beautiful boy in the world stood in front of me in line. But besides that, it was quite an unpleasant experience. I witnessed a hit and run, and these people were in nice cars, too, not just some losers. And then this one middle-aged man in his BMW was ready to fight some other middle-aged guy in his Chysler SUV for a parking lot. Literally fight. With their kids in the cars. More dissappointing experiences led me to decide that being rich = having a stick permanently up your ass. I almost pity those people, but they're entirely too rude and disgusting to be worth it.

My mom is insane. In short, I am in pain because of my selfishness? Her irrationality is going to make me crazy. She did not need to have kids.

I want this year to be over with. The thought of going back to school makes me nauseous.

(got lost in thought)

But I am le tired... [31 Jul 2004|02:27am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I hate how decisions made years ago still influence me everyday, and how choices shape our lives so definitively.

And I wonder where I lost my sense of humor and ability to have fun.

(4 dreamers | got lost in thought)

http://www.kotp.4mg.com/Randall.htm [30 Jul 2004|12:20am]
[ mood | satisfied ]

I hate hearing the fact that you shouldn't eat after 8 or 7 or even 6 in the evening, for the sake of weight gain and health... my main meal comes between midnight and two in the morning. Yummy in my tummy.

I'm excited- not for school to start- but for my classes. I have Mr. Krews, which makes me all too happy. By the way, how important is the summer reading to him, completion- and dialectic journal- wise? And since Euro isn't being offered, I'm taking Creative Stitching. Probably a total BS class, but I get to be creative and sew things and stuff. I hope there are cool people in there. But I still have Calculus, meh.

Laura and I saw the most round, perky, shelf-like butt on this guy today. It was much more disturbing than attractive. And very humorous.

No Warped Tour for me. No one to go with. Any takers for a trip to the beach?

(got lost in thought)

Megan and I are teaming up in a catfight- you bitches are going down! [26 Jul 2004|10:46pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

I dropped a plant on myself today at work. Silly me.

I am almost feeling better. But not really.

I want to go to the beach before school starts again. Not by myself, and not with Ryan. As in, with friends. But alas, no one to go with. And no pretty people would be allowed, as they would make me look ug-ly.

I miss Megan. She is hilarious. What a goofball. She is def the best friend I never had. Expect that she doesn't like Reno 911, and I'm in a Trudy Wiegel withdrawl. Again with the only being able to stay on good terms with people if they live over a thousand miles away. Oh well.

Oh, how I missed Degrassi while I was abroad.

Alix just left. She's going to the Keys. I'm lonely already.

And this long survey stolen from Kara. Because I'm horribly bored.Collapse )

(8 dreamers | got lost in thought)

Can we watch the cheese? [24 Jul 2004|11:51pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Being home sucks. Being home with zero dollars because sketchy old bowling man stole my money sucks even more. Ryan moved far away, and his car is mad at him. So he can't visit. Tampa is boring. So are the people in it. Especially meeeeeee....

(got lost in thought)

[24 Jul 2004|01:32am]
I have an odd stabbing pain in my chest/heart/lung. It really hurts to breathe. And I had $80 stolen. Talk about bad kharma.

(2 dreamers | got lost in thought)

[23 Jul 2004|02:22pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

When I talked to my mom last night, she and I had a talk. She said that I need to let people be aware of my feelings, and I need to let people know what my needs and wants are. Mom, the last thing I need is to be more selfish.

Maybe I do need to see a doctor. I keep hearing that I should see about going on anti-depressants, but I really don't think that I'm depressed enough to need them. But maybe I should try a small dosage.

This vacation needs to never end.

(5 dreamers | got lost in thought)

Sigh... [22 Jul 2004|02:23am]
I got psyched into going to UF. Someone now needs to psych me out of it.

Home in two days. Then life starts again. The dread is overwhelming.

Jealousy is such a wasted emotion. I need to be home almost as much as I need to be away.

Another pathetic attempt at self-pity. Please, step away from the cut.Collapse )

(2 dreamers | got lost in thought)

[21 Jul 2004|11:47pm]
[ mood | can't breathe ]

I could just die.

Someone stab me. It would allieviate this pain.

(1 dreamer | got lost in thought)

[21 Jul 2004|03:11am]
[ mood | pessimistic ]

Everything is such a fucking joke.

By everything, I include myself and my actions.

But I don't give anyone else credit, either.

(3 dreamers | got lost in thought)

21 months! And 1000 miles away... [18 Jul 2004|05:48pm]
I own at poker. And I just played lacrosse in my pajamas. And... that is all.

(1 dreamer | got lost in thought)

<33333 [18 Jul 2004|02:21am]
[ mood | ditzy ]

Lame movie. Cheesy grapes. The paranormal. Bubbles. Mean bookstore employees. School-spirited jimmies. And a hot Italian boy who frequents my place of stay.

Life is good. At the current.

(3 dreamers | got lost in thought)

Nonsense! [16 Jul 2004|07:17pm]
[ mood | cold ]

I'm in New York. And it's fun. We ran around in the rain. Now I'm cold.

AP scores. Finally. And I am appalled.

Haha, I'm even being excluded here. I just can't win.

I'm so jealous of Megan and her friends. I'm never going to be compatable with anyone.

(5 dreamers | got lost in thought)

I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again... [16 Jul 2004|12:49am]
[ mood | tired ]

Of course, I have to go get in a fight with Ryan hours before I leave. I'm such a mean person. Hmph.

I really wanted to see Matt and Kyle. On my plane trip, I have a three hour layover in Detroit. They live in Michigan, and my mom suggested that maybe they could visit.... But they live too far away. It makes me indescribably sad.

Rain? In the middle of the night? This is way awesome. How relaxing.

I guess I should start packing.

(7 dreamers | got lost in thought)

[14 Jul 2004|02:06pm]
[ mood | moody ]

There were a few things that I wanted to do that I just... didn't do. Good ideas, too. Oh well.

Well now I have a chance to change and improve things. And will I? Of course not.

I need to do something tonight. I need to get out of this house.

fjhsdsgyregyhjsdfgh

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